I'm more awake after five p.m. then before. My days do start out with a direction of little or no direction at all. I feel suffocated by too much structure. I feel like I can breathe when there is an element of spontaneity and energy to whatever I am doing and when that is curbed? I feel low.
So, to answer "why would you do that?" It involves a tea kettle, an Rx, forgotten funds and that's just for starters... Let me explain my day. It takes much poking and prodding and bribery to pry my fingernails from their death's grasp on my blanket and once awakened there's the whole uneventful showering routine except I guess it could be eventful... I always wish I had a pen and paper when I wake and have some idea that I think is brilliant and will struggle to remember like a foggy, mist of a dream.
Next, I chose a task something simple like see the eye doctor, but I'm plagued still by shower idea that I cannot let rest and I end up combining the doctor with the grocery store. I get sidetracked by a friend but in the back of my mind are now two things: one, the brilliant soup idea for later that I'm still missing parts of and oh, I need to fill eye doctor Rx while down town. Hey where's my wallet? A pack of gum?!! Then, I remember (a little) that I took my bag off my power wheelchair earlier that day and my wallet is at home on the table – a fat lot of good that does me now. So, I beat it to the bank and try my best not to get sidetracked. Thankfully for me I had good timing.
I went back home where both wallet and eye doctor Rx exist and this time I am off again. I try my best not to get distracted but I got sidetracked elsewhere either before the Rx recovery or after. See? even I don't remember and I was there! One last store trip... something reminded me I had forgotten stuff and I came home with two new spices (not in the recipe -- can we say sidetracked?) and without the damned avocado that I needed in the first place -- classic.
I make soup at the same time I'm making a smoothie for tomorrow and tea for tonight. At least that's how it feels in the moment. In the middle of all of that I remember thinking Phillip. I really like that name and if I ever names any of my belongings virtual or mobility related it would be Phillip. Soup needs more sea salt and spinach... SPINACH! OMG!!! (Hey, don't hate me grammar police I hear it's totally in the dictionary now. I'll wait while you go check.) Then, I was off making a smoothie and somehow the tea boiled over a little. It’s weird that I never heard it.
So if we ever should meet or we have been lucky enough to cross paths already and my mind starts to meander just allow it to happen. Maybe you've heard this story I'm telling you for the first time or the millionth time. Please take my randomness especially my story-telling as my fondness for you, somewhere in my mind… somewhere in my heart I keep telling these stories because I know I have found the right person(s) to give them a home in their heart. This has always been me and is apparently my brain's way of trying to communicate some important lesson with someone I love.
The converse is just me not giving a damn and never saying a word. I have too much love for that.