I've lost a lot of beautiful people in my life as they've chosen to just vanish. I've always wondered why some folks stick around while others are so eager to join the vanishing act. There's all kinds of ways to be here and gone in an instant.
There are the walking dead -- slowing going through the motions and yet feeling no connection to anyone, feeling as though as bad as life is now is as good as it ever will be so try to deviate from the norm. There are the reclusives -- retreating into themselves fearing ever hurt real or imagined even from themselves. There are the fight and flighters so afraid of being affronted and written off that they either never let anyone in to truly know them or let in all the wrong folks since what's the point they are doomed to be hurt again.
Sure, I've thought of what it would be like to vanish into thin air, but there are far too many people I love and respect -- (myself included!) I love so many things like: a child's laughter, the smell outside right after it rains and how green the world seems to be, reading poetry, my family of friends and a great belly laugh.
I am still the one on the inside who listens to music from her twenties and animation from her youth. I am still the the one who finds wonder in every new adventure and finds every day to be a new adventure. I am still the one who sees the sunrise and sunset as some beautiful painting yet to be captured. I have not vanished -- I am still here.
I am still the one who trips when nothing's there. I choke on water. Somedays the world is so much bigger then I can even dream... but always I'm there. I'm still there -- I haven't vanished. There's far too much beauty in this world to just vanish into thin air. Life catches up to people and sometimes drags them down and if you are full of hurt and feel you are about to break don't give in and vanish.
Whenever you feel a piece of yourself start to disappear remember you are so beautiful, so irreplaceable, even when you cannot feel the love that surrounds you... know no one can ever replace YOU and to someone YOU mean the world. So, why vanish?